First and foremost I apologize for the lateness of this blog but I have been trying to finalize my high school commencement speech all week which I give in less than 48 hours!!! I never knew how much work that could be but the good news is that I think I have come up with the best I can do 
That also is unfortunately the only good news about last week. We have lost the last two games and for tomorrow’s game we are missing four starters for the national team duties. Now usually a team would be hurting, they would find themselves with their backs against the wall but I am happy at say that is not the case for us!
The beauty of being a professional is that the people on the bench are not the players without expereince, they are the players that are biting at the heels of the starters. The ones that pride themselves with pushing the team with whatever they need, the ones that if you say swim across lake Michigan would do it in a heart beat if they thought it woudl help the team! I am not syaing the starters would not do it, just saying that with being a professional and on the roster the coaches know anyone can step in and play the role thats needed.
Tomorrow’s game will be filled with the same spontaneous, magnificent, plays as usual. hey maybe even some added spice n splendor lol …
I know this is short and sweet but I promise next week will be a lot more soccer filled. I just have been working on this speech for so long I figured I would share it with all of you. I mean if any of you all would like to hear it in true fashion please join me at Assembly Hall this Sunday around 3 pm
Enjoy….
To the official graduating class of 2009……for allowing me to stand before you on this memorable day, THANK YOU. I’ll be honest with you, the first time that I was approached about being your commencement speaker, I thought you all were a bit nuts, as I think my friends would agree
As un-deserving as I feel to be standing here, I realize the incredible opportunity I have to impart something meaningful to you! or to not put you to sleep
I might have a couple years on you, but trust me it only seems like yesterday that I was sitting in your seat. I remember thinking how I just cannot wait to get across the stage and start the next chapter of my life. I even vaguely recall having the brilliant idea of trying to pull off some kind of ridiculous dance move to pick up my diploma. Needless to say, I chickened out, and just tried not trip up the stairs.
I also remember being scared. Each one of you sitting before me, now young men and women have a different dream/goal. Some might want to be doctors, lawyers, actors/actresses, or singers. Some could have other ambitions; like being a teacher, or coach to touch other lives as one has touched you, or maybe even joining me on this crazy adventure of being a professional athlete.
Regardless of what you think you want to be now, or even if you have no idea, it is okay. If you told me 5 years ago that I would be your commencement speaker, and even more that I would be doing it as a professional soccer player. I would have bet my life savings against it. Mind you at that point it was probably a mere 100 dollars or so.
The best way for more me to explain to you the importance of never allowing anyone to tell you who or what you can be is to share my journey so far. I only hope you can find a piece of your story in mine.
I did not grow up in a fancy house. My family didn’t have money to spare. I know throughout my childhood on numerous occasions I would not allow anyone to come to my house. I would even have people drop me off 3 or 4 houses down from mine. I realize how ridiculous that seems, but I was ashamed. I was not proud of where I came from, nor did i realize how my parents did everything they could to put food on our table and teach me life is so much more than money.
Once I hit the high school stage I found myself as a two sport athlete. As much as I loved basketball, I knew soccer was my ticket to play at the collegiate level. However as I finished up my junior year I found myself suffering from chronic shin splints. After sitting out all of that summer going into my senior year with trying to rest my shins, I realized I had missed my biggest summer for college recruiting. In the fall I continued to try everything to make my shin splints go away. I was in two walking boots at times, crutches, tested for compartment syndrome, nothing was working, until I found a Doctor in Wisconsin who specialized in a new and improved shin splint surgery.
I made my first trip up to Wisconsin in the beginning of February where I was told that I did in fact need the surgery and it would put me out for 6 months. Right then and there I thought my career of playing at a major D I college was over. I knew I could not wait to get the surgery because with already being out a year, there was no way I could play through the pain. Not too mention, my insurance did not cover the 10,000 dollar operation.
I had no idea where to turn at this point. With the offers I had received, I knew my heart was pulling me to either DePaul or Illinois.
For a 17 year old, my mind seemed caught up in a whirl wind. I knew in a matter of weeks I not only had to try to decide on where I wanted to attend college but how I was going to afford this very pricey surgery. After meeting with both schools I had two choices:
Head to DePaul which is a 40,000 a year private institution and be a huge impact right away or head to Illinois on a 10% schloarship and have to fight for every minute on the field. My decision was simply Illinois, I had fought for everything I had received so far, why was I going to stop now?!?
With that hurdle accomplished, I immediately was onto my next, heading up north for my surgery on February 20th. I cashed in the bond my grandfather gave me for college, had some amazing friends and family lend me some money, and worked out a payment plan with the hospital – I was taking a leap of faith.
I could go on and on about that awful day. How I went in at 5 am for the surgery and had to be out by 12 pm because I could not afford to stay longer. How I threw up from the pain of trying to walk on crutches with both of my shins being done at the same time. Or how three days after the surgery I ended up having an allergic reaction to the vicadine and had to be rushed to the hospital at 4 am.
Needless to say I survived and even managed come back in 4 months to allow myself to play in bits and pieces of my senior night.
My dreams at this point were still very much alive. This process had been tough but I was back in pursuit of my dream. That is where you all sit today, with dreams and aspirations, but not sure where the journey will take you. Like you, I did not understand how much room I had to grow… that I would grow into my dreams as much as accomplish them…
On August 8th, 2004 I found myself on the starting line of the Univiersity of Illinois’s track to try and complete my first task of being an Illini, our dreaded fitness test. I was surrounded by All-Americans, All-State players, the nations best. No one knew that I only started running four months ago, no one knew I had been out most of the previous year, and at this point the only thing they cared about was seeing me crossing the finish line in time.
IT still sends shiver up my spine thinking of the pain my body felt that day. How everything in my mind, body, and soul was telling me to quit. Only by the grace of two senior captains did I pass that test, yes they literally were pulling and pushing me to cross that line. That taught me that sometime no matter how much you think you can do it alone, you simply can’t. I ran that test three or four times before that day and never once passed. For the first time in my life through others strength I completed something I thought I could not.
Wherever your journey takes you, don’t ever forget what has gotten you that far. It’s the people sitting to your left and right, your teachers standing in the crowd, and your parents sitting behind you. You will only be as great as the people you surround yourself with.
For the rest of my freshmen year I ended up playing in all 24 matches but only starting in two. Frustration, confusion, and anger were the three emotions I felt the most. I just could not grasp why Janet (our head coach) would ride me day in and day out. I of course took it as her not liking me, instead of her trying to make me better. Trust me guys,when they stop yelling at you is when you should start to worry!!! Sophomore year I started a little under half the games and still fought Janet just as hard.
If I stood up here and told you I did NOT want to quit, that would be a lie. The stress of not only playing in your home town and feeling like I was not producing as much as I should, almost seemed too much, but I stayed in it. I stuck to one of my favorite quotes, “perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you have already done.’ Instead of sulking and making excuses I used every bit of those emotions with extra sessions with the coach or by myself. I knew that through my set-backs, success would follow.
My work paid off; my junior year was my break out year. I received Big Ten player of the year, 2nd Team All-American, and even helped my team to a Sweet 16 appearance. I even got called into my first U23 national team camp.
I was established, my junior year had gone better than I ever expected. Illinois had an exceptional year and we did not lose many seniors. We knew that the next year was our year to take us all the way. Once again my dreams were on track and the future looked bright. or that’s what I thought at least.
My senior year, with all my expectations and hard work, was lined with injury. I opened the season with pain, and ended it facing another surgery. It was hard enough to experience the discomfort in my body, but nothing compared to the disappointment I felt as I watch my final college year disappear, my dreams with it. My ankle had bone swelling which needed surgery in February and with not producing the way i thought i would my senior year, I assumed my u23 national team career was over, let alone any other national dreams.
My dad once told me, “Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”
Despite the doubt, I chose to believe. I knew the last four years of hard work would not go to waste, and I refused to let go. Through my struggles I chose to became strong. Sure enough I got through my rehab for my ankle, received a call in May for the U23s and again found myself in the midst of my dream….. wearing my countries jersey.
The Women’s Professional Soccer league (WPS) had also officially been announced to start the following spring. A new dream to go for …. I needed to get my name out. So for the next 6 months I was everywhere but home. 3 months traveling all over the east coast playing and then 3 months in Norway.
Being in DC was one thing but being across the world was a whole different situation. I was truly away from home for the first time, missed my family, and missed the familiarity of the beautiful corn fields. Shoot I would of even loved to have smelled some of the south farms. My point is that I do remember not feeling that scared and alone since I was 18 years old and starting college. The reality of how intimidating life really is was sinking in. Was I really ready to be by myself, to be grown adult?
I did not know what was going to happen with the upcoming Professional drafts, I could not run home to hear my mom say everything was going to be okay. I was for the first time, really on my own and all I could do was hold on …
“Success is knowing what you are made up of, in spite of what occurs to you. Greatness is a function of who you are and what you have. The difference between you and your glory is an EVENT. Great men have dreams; great dreams rule the world. You are only a thought away from your dream and a step away from your greatness. Begin to step….”
On October 8th, 2008 I began to step with getting drafted 9th over all to the Chicago Red Stars. I know I did not have much control over that situation but I did know that I was about to sign a contract to play the thing I love and the best thing about it was I was going to do it at home.
Today I am about a two months into my professional season and through all the struggles and tribulations I have talked about, nothing has been like the last two months. It has been the most mentally and physically draining experience I have had. Don’t get me wrong I know I am so lucky to be able to play the thing I love for a living but its different than college. My love became my job, my profession.
I am no longer surrounded by the best in the nation, but in the world. I have girls that have two gold medals, voted the 2nd best player in the world, and that’s just the front line, the girls that play the same exact position as me.
The only thing that is allowing me to keep fighting is knowing , “it’s never the size of the dog in the fight, but it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” And two if I gave up now what would that look like? How would my story look if after I finally got what I have always dreamed about and walked away because it was not going how I planned?
I say planned because out of the 6 games we have played I have started 2 of them but last weekend found myself playing 10 minutes. Disappointment, confusion, and frustration are once again starring me in my face but just like before ….quitting is simply not an option!
I do not know where the next four months of my season will take me or even what will happen tomorrow. I do know that my journey has had great purpose. The last 23 years of my life have been told to show you YOU can be whatever you want to be. I stand before you having accomplished the things that I dreamed about sitting in the chairs that you are now. More importantly than my All-American frame, my professional career, I achieved things many said I could not. You have the same choice. From this moment on, regardless of your past, your economic back ground, or your ethnicity, you have the ability to decide! TODAY you start the first day of your adult life. Today you graduate from being boys and girls to men and woman. Today you put your own life in your hands, you find your dreams, find the thing that makes your heart beat with joy and NEVER never stop fighting for what convicts you and gives you purpose.
I didn’t… I haven’t and I wont… and neither should you!!!
Thank you for this opportunity to share my story. I welcome the day when I will hear yours!
Good old LEAN HUG with the tummy n OUR signs !!!!
MT number 14, Shan facing us in the back round!!!!
Ty and I in Japan by the famous GIGANTIC Buddha, you guys should see the size of his sandals!!
(sorry have no idea how to flip it lol) ;/